***FANGS FASHION TIPS!!***

Everything you need to know for the school year!

St. Michael Edition

Hi! I was out in the car the other day, and got a good look at how people around here are dressing. It's bad. I thought I'd offer I few tips, being the fashionable dog that I am!

1. Pull up your pants and turn your hat around straight. You live in a developing rural area, not the inner city. You are not a gansta.
2. Girls, wear clothes. The younger you are, the more clothes I want you wearing!
3. Daddy, never do this again! Please!
4. If you have a hideous seventies hair cut, DO NOT get your eyebrows pierced. Especially if you are over 40. You can either be up to date or scarily retro. Not both at the same time.
5. Capris should never be flowered.
6. Spandex never should have been invented.
7. Aquanet is bad for the environment.
8. Bathing is good.
9. Especially with soap!
10. Washing your hair is good too.
11. Always keep a cute, stylish dog around. We make you look good!

That's it for now!